Have you ever found yourself angry and didn’t know why? Sometimes you might be angry at a person or situation, but the intensity of the emotion surprises you. Where does this rush of anger come from? It’s Melanie on the Dóchas blog today, and I want to talk about anger and how to understand where it’s coming from.
The Feeling of Anger
Let’s take a look at the feeling of anger for a moment. Anger can rise up in you if you feel a situation or person is being unfair. In these moments you may feel helpless, threatened, vulnerable, violated, or inadequate.
How each person expresses anger is diverse. Some people hold their anger inside. They withdraw and hide away, not allowing others to see the part of them that gets angry. Others respond to anger with behaviours that all the world can see. These behaviours can include things like crying, yelling, seeking revenge, and even acting out in an aggressive or violent manner.
When is anger a problem?
Some people feel like anger is taking over their life. This emotion permeates several areas of their life. For some, anger is a safe emotion, an emotion they have become comfortable with. It becomes their “go-to” emotion when other emotions creep into their life, other emotions that they are uncomfortable with. Some of these less tolerable emotions include sadness, pain, fear, despair, and hopelessness.
Anger can also be an expression of depression or unresolved trauma. Understanding where your anger is coming from is often the first step in moving forward and working through your anger and other emotions. Counselling is a safe place to begin this process.
How To Deal With Anger
There are many misconceptions about the best way to deal with anger. Some believe that it they ignore their anger, it will simply go away. This is not a great strategy. Ignoring anger can provide space for it to fester and grow and manifest itself in other, more destructive ways.
Other people believe that unless they are able to express their anger and “let it out,” they won’t be able to move on from it. This is also not true. Regularly blowing up and lashing out in anger can reinforce neurological pathways in your brain, making it more difficult to remain calm. This is not to mention the damage you can do to relationships!
That said, here are some healthy ways to deal with anger:
- Learn and become aware of signs you are becoming angry.
- Manage stress and learn effective stress reduction strategies.
- Avoid personalizing situations.
- Have firm boundaries and foster realistic expectations (of self and others).
- Focus on what you can control and work on letting go of what you cannot.
- Engage in physical activity.
- Nurture a sense of humour.
- Stand up for yourself in a calm and respectful manner.
This list is in no way exhaustive, but it is a place to start. Neglecting anger can be harmful and can damage your body, relationships, and your mental health. Dealing with anger may require a more personalized approach. At Dóchas, there are many therapists that can help you navigate this tricky emotion. Reach out to us at 780-446-0300 or at info@dochaspsych.com.
More information:
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
