Hey everyone, it’s Schareen here! Today, let’s talk about what to do when your therapist is away.

Whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder clearly never struggled with their mental health! The absence of a key support person while you are struggling or getting back on track with your mental health can be anxiety-producing. It can be particularly difficult if this support person is your therapist or counsellor.

This is natural because you spend time fostering a relationship, learning about yourself and mental health, and come to rely on them to guide you through your navigation of some pretty tough stuff. So, naturally, their absence may bring up questions like “what do I do now?!” Sometimes knowing their absence is coming creates even more anxiety than their sudden departure.

Here are some strategies for coping in their absence:

Plan, Plan, Plan

Our job as your mental health supporter is to work ourselves out of a job! By this, I mean that if I spontaneously combust tomorrow, you would be confident enough in your abilities to continue your mental health journey. Throughout therapy, it is important to work with your therapist to create a plan for what to do when they are not around. This can be based on your individual diagnosis, challenges, goals, and preferences—it might involve grounding strategies, journaling, connecting with other resources, referral to your new mental health supporter, or a variety of other options.

Use the Session Before Your Therapist is Away

If you know that the absence is coming (let’s say your therapist is going on vacation), then spend some time in your session prior to them leaving reviewing your personal strategies that help in the event of any mental health “flare-ups.” Talk through what works, what doesn’t, are there other support people you can reach out to, is there someone you can contact if in crisis, etc. Remember it can be hard to remember the steps to take when you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious so writing down the plan may be helpful.

For Longer Absences

If the absence will be longer (let’s say your therapist is going on maternity leave), it might be time to discuss referral options. We know this can be a difficult step to take because you’ve built a connection with your therapist, you spent time getting to know each other, and it may have taken some time to find the right fit. Your therapist can support you in finding someone they think will foster just as strong of a connection with you.

Perhaps view this as an opportunity to expand your therapy approaches. Reach out to support groups that may address topics you are also struggling with. There are many online, and in-person options available.

Explore Nature

Therapy is not just sitting in a room with a therapist, you may want to branch out (get it?!)… oh wait I should probably have explained before the dad joke! Get out into nature! Nature can have a hugely therapeutic effect. Brinnea wrote a fantastic blog about the benefits of nature on mental health and now that the weather is warming up it’s the perfect time to get out into the wild and connect with yourself and the world.

Try Volunteering

Sometimes throwing yourself into helping others can help revive your soul and help you feel fulfilled in ways you haven’t before. Since the pandemic, many non-profits are struggling to keep up with the demands of community needs. If you are willing, ready, and able this may be a great option to get you feeling involved and connected to your community.

Explore Yourself

Take the opportunity to do some uninterrupted self-exploration. Hear me out! Therapists are human, which means they have biases too, so we are naturally we are sharing our perspectives about what’s going on for you. That doesn’t mean we are always right. Their absence is the perfect time for you to take some you time and figure out what you think is going on. You can apply what you have learned in therapy, see if it still fits/resonates for you, and see if you can push yourself to deepen your self-understanding. Remember you are the expert of you.

Write it Down

Journal, write letters, write bullet points, whatever works, keep a tally and update us when we get back. Sometimes your therapist isn’t absent but you just won’t be seeing them for a week or two. Sometimes, it feels like whatever you’re facing is so overwhelming that you are not sure how you will hold it, or you are worried you might forget it. WRITE IT DOWN! I cannot stress how helpful writing it down can be. It can allow you to feel like you are getting it out of your head, it makes sure that you won’t forget what you wanted to say while you were feeling all the feelings, and it allows you to independently go back and reflect on the experience when you are ready to process it (which is essentially what we are doing in therapy anyway).

The biggest thing that clients forget is that you are the catalyst for change. You are the one who drives the bus, the therapist is just along for the ride. We are so privileged to be a part of your journey but really, we aren’t as important as we seem. We are merely the guides for a short period of time and while you might doubt yourself, we know you can be successful with your goals. Never forget how amazing you are and how much strength you have shown to make it to where you are already in your therapy journey. That’s all you! We just nudge you back on track occasionally. So, when we aren’t there, take a breath and remind yourself that you were the one who nudged yourself forward in the first place by coming to therapy, you have the power to keep moving yourself forward.

As always if you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me at smaher@dochaspsych.com. Until next time!

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Key Takeaway For When Your Therapist is Away:

If your therapist will be away for a while, plan ahead, use the session before they leave to discuss strategies, decide if a referral is needed, and take this opportunity to explore other self-care strategies such as exploring nature, volunteering, and journaling!

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About Dóchas Psychological

Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.

Disclaimer

Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.