For some people, this time of year is all about new year’s resolutions as a way to make changes in their lives. Yet, what if you are feeling stuck by your circumstances? There may be confusion and uncertainty on how exactly to start the process. So, what does it take to unsubscribe from feeling as if there is no way forward from your current set of patterns?
It’s Vlady here on the Dóchas blog, and this week I am going to talk about how to “unsubscribe” from feeling stuck, and about a few behavioural tips to get ‘unstuck’ that may assist you along the way.
Let’s start with an analogy:
Do you ever catch yourself subscribing to a whole assortment of newsletters, blogs and/or advertising? The manner in which your inbox or social media grows with the saturation of content subscriptions can function similarly in how we accumulate a sense of understanding towards our reality from our indirect and direct life experiences.
As the subscriptions inundate our screens, we can grow desensitized by the sheer volume of information and gloss over the content. Our intrigue may shift to numbness and intentionality can be lost. Rather than unsubscribing from the content, we scroll past it or delete it. Yet, more content from the same entity returns to our screens and we do the same – a pattern begins to form and becomes reinforced by our choices.
For some reason, unsubscribing from the content is a forgotten option. This can mimic how stuckness emerges in our lives—circumstances are encountered, responses are maintained, a cycle is sustained, and alternatives seem out of reach. Now what?
A few ways forward…
1. Take action and then see how you feel.
When you are feeling stuck, you might make justifications like you do not feel like doing anything different until you feel motivated, interested, and/or even energized enough to make a change. One way around this is to do something different, despite how you are feeling, and observe how you feel about it.
Our feelings, at times, can be an obstacle to taking actions. For example, suppose you have the desire to pick up a new hobby such as reading, though you are not feeling up to it. Rather than letting those feelings function as an impediment, you can tread lightly and read a few pages. How do you feel? Are new feelings emerging? One consideration in identifying how you are feeling is to use a feelings wheel and even noting the feelings in a journal or on your phone.
2. Strategize about trying something new.
If you are feeling boxed in by your circumstances, where there has been a perpetual reinforcement of behaviour in how you manage the occurrences in your life, consider the location and time as key factors when planning something different. Noting that you would like to go to the gym is different from identifying that you are going to go to the local gym near your home right after work on Wednesday with a friend.
3. Nurture the small wins and start small
Start small! For example, if you have never meditated before and want to jump right into it for thirty minutes, you may potentially be setting yourself up for some challenges. Instead, try starting from somewhere and determine what is feasible for you.
For instance, perhaps you find a meditation technique and you try out the technique for a minute. The next day, move on to two minutes when trying the same technique, or a different one. Maybe you would like to take an introductory workshop on meditation or listen to some guided meditations on an app (e.g., Headspace etc.). Ultimately, nurture the small wins and invite play, as well as a beginner’s mind, when figuring out an engagement style with a new activity.
If you are feeling stuck and do not know where and/or how to start untangling from that sense of stuckness, feel free to reach out to the Dóchas team by giving us a call at 780-446-0300. We can give you a hand as you navigate these feelings.
Resources
- Jacobson, Martell, and Dimidijan’s journal article
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
