Are you waiting for a reply to one of your texts right now? How does it feel? Maybe you’re feeling a bit on edge, or a bit nervous. Texting can definitely cause texting anxiety, as we’ve talked about before! I’ve shared some general strategies for dealing with that, but today I want to share some strategies specifically for when you’re waiting for a reply. What are some strategies, or some preventative measures, that you can use to help you cope with that anxiety of waiting for a text? Here are some tips for waiting for texts—watch the video or read on to learn more.
Think of Alternative Explanations
When you don’t receive a reply to a text right away, your mind might jump right to thinking, they don’t like me, or they’re avoiding me, or they’re avoiding the question. But take a moment to think of some alternative explanations!
For example, it might be that things are just super busy with the other person. They might not be ignoring you, but instead, they might be thinking that they want to devote thought and time to their reply. They might not want to rush because they care about communication with you. So there are other ways to look at it.
I have to admit, for me personally, texting is not really my priority. I grew up in the generation where we had rotary phones still! So for me, one of the things that I would hope people would do if they’re waiting for a text back from me is to think about all of the different alternative reasons that I am not texting back at that moment.
So the question would be, “What else might be going on in Kim’s life that she hasn’t been able to read my text or text me back in the timeframe that I’m expecting?” Thinking about the alternative reasons also helps make it feel less personal. Sometimes when we don’t receive a text back right away, we make it personal when it’s not.
Think About How Urgent It Is
Another tip is to think about whether your message is high stakes, or if it’s just annoying that you haven’t received a response. Of course, if it’s high stakes, I would also invite you to find another way to get ahold of them.
But in our modern world, we’ve gotten so used to receiving responses so quickly, that it’s like we’ve lost a sense of what is a reasonable timeframe and what isn’t. Now—for those of you who know me personally, I know that I am horrible at responding quickly. So when I’m saying “reasonable timeframe,” generally I think you could expect a text response back in an hour or two, or even later that day. But that’s for you to decide what you need as someone who has sent the text. If it’s not high stakes, it’s okay not to get a reply right away.
Communicate Your Expectations
We all have different ideas or beliefs about what the expectation should be about responding in a timely manner, especially when it comes to texting. In order to prevent anxiety, be clear with the people who are in your life about your beliefs and expectations when it comes to texting.
This can sound kind of silly because texting is supposed to be this thing that isn’t a big deal and just makes our lives easier. But it is still a form of communication! And like with any form of communication, it can be really helpful to let the other person know, “Listen, you believe that you can respond in a couple of days. For me, if you’re not responding in a couple hours, I think that you’re dead in a ditch somewhere.”
Well, that might be extreme, but for some people it can feel like that when they don’t receive a text back! So being able to communicate your expectations around what you expect when you text, and maybe even what topics you really need a quick reply about, can help that communication. So take some time, think about that, set those expectations and communicate them.
Secondly, ask yourself, what is my intention behind texting this person? By really thinking about why you’re texting and what you need from the other person, you can then communicate that to them too. We all have too much information coming at us every day. But if you’re clear with the people in your life that, “if I’m sending you a text, this is my intention behind the text” —that may help the other person understand, “Oh, this is why I need to respond in a timely manner.” They recognize you have a need to plan your day, or you like to feel connected, or whatever your intention actually is behind that text.
Overall, this is what I’d recommend to prevent and reduce anxiety: set your intention and make your expectations clear. And then the other person you are texting with can hopefully live up to your expectations or at least minimize any misunderstandings that may come from interpreting something personally that actually isn’t personal on the other person’s side. You’ll know they may just have different expectations or ideas about what it means to text.
I hope these tips for waiting for texts and texting anxiety helps! Good luck with texting and we’ll talk soon.
If you have trouble managing anxiety on your own and you just can’t seem to implement strategies like these, therapy might be for you. Give us a call at 780-446-0300 or send us an email at info@dochaspsych.com to find out how we can help you.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
