Hello! It’s Melanie here on the blog today, and today I want to talk about navigating life as an empty nester. As a parent, the day that you realize your children are all grown up and ready to live independently can be a shock to your system. The transition to this new phase in life can be especially jarring if you haven’t been nurturing your own hobbies and interests while embarking on your parenting journey. Although this can feel like a time of loss and turmoil, it can also be a time of new beginnings and adventures! Here are some strategies for navigating this stage of life.

What You Might Experience in the “Empty Nest” Phase

Each person’s experience of this stage of life will be different, but here are some common feelings that you may go through:

If your sense of purpose has been heavily connected to your role as a parent, you may experience a profound loss of purpose. Allow yourself to grieve as you move out of a life phase that was so meaningful for you.

You may be missing the confidence and satisfaction that can come from feeling needed by your children. This can lead to low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, and feelings of depression. Recognizing these emotions and learning to sit with how you are feeling can be helpful in navigating this experience.

Once your children have left your home, you may be feeling a loss of control over their lives. You may become fearful for their safety as you become preoccupied with how dangerous the world can be.

This new phase can also create new challenges between you and your partner. Maybe you both have different ideas about retirement, and this can lead to conflict. Because you are no longer distracted with the business of raising a family, you may become hyper-focused on your partner, and this can lead to increased resentments. If you had been “staying together for the children,” this new phase can be plagued by turmoil and questioning.

Lastly, now can be the time that you finally are able to learn more about yourself and spend more time doing the things you enjoy. But you might wonder where to start. After years of sacrificially loving your children, you may have been neglecting your own growth and development which can leave you feeling lost and unsure of where to begin. It can be an exciting journey to learn more about who you are and what you like. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Strategies for Navigating this New Life Stage as an Empty Nester:

1. Learn something new! What have you always wished you knew more about or were better at? Have you always wondered what affects or controls the weather? There is a course about that! Have you always wanted to learn the native language of your favourite travel destination? There is a class for that too! Or have you always wanted to improve your cooking skills and be able to prepare those meals that will have your guests talking for months? Well, there is a class for that as well.
2. It’s time to reconnect! Reconnect with your partner and begin the journey of rediscovering each other again. Plan those dates that you have been too busy (or too broke from spending money on kids) that you have been wanting to try. Reconnect with friends, both old and new. The business of raising a family can leave little time for those friendships that used to be so important to you. Now is the time to reach out and invest in these relationships again, or make new ones.
3. Get into shape, both physically, emotionally, and financially! As you age it becomes more important than ever to take care of your physical health. Whether that means eating healthier and spending time meal planning, or getting that body moving! Try a new exercise class, sport, or simply incorporate daily walks into your schedule. Taking care of yourself emotionally may mean talking to a friend, nurturing your spirituality, taking a self-help class, or finally investing in therapy to work on personal growth. Financial care can mean getting things in order for your retirement. Now that the children are gone, you will find that some expenses such as groceries will decrease. This can free up cash and allow you to pay down debt or increase retirement savings.
4. Explore new hobbies. Maybe now is the time to plan the trip that you have been dreaming about for years. Discover your creativity through writing, painting or drawing, learning a new instrument, or redecorating your home. Pick up that woodworking that you used to do in your youth and see what new things you can create.
5. Volunteer for that cause that has always been so important to you. Does your heart go out to families in need? You can volunteer in a myriad of ways including providing both material goods and social support for those struggling. Have you always been an animal lover? Reach out to your local pet shelters and see where you can help out. Are books your thing? Your local library is a great place to begin.

Have patience with yourself! Navigating change takes time. I hope these strategies give you some ideas for new activities and interests to try out, and give this empty nester stage of life a new direction.

Whatever stage you are in life, if you are a young adult, newly married, or an empty nester, know that there is help available if you need it. Reach out to a mental health specialist at Dochas Psychological Services for help and support through all stages of life. You can reach one of us at info@dochaspsych.com or by calling 780 446 0300.

About Dóchas Psychological

Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.

Disclaimer

Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.