The ability to communicate emotions effectively is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
It’s Alessandra on the blog this week and I know you’ve probably heard this before, but your emotions and thoughts matter. If you want to strengthen your relationship, it is important for both parties to feel safe and comfortable to speak up.
If you’ve ever felt that diving into your own emotions is challenging… expressing your emotions with someone else, especially your romantic partner, may feel completely overwhelming.
The Importance of Communicating your Emotions
Let’s start to break down the importance of communication by looking at the risk of not sharing your feelings in a relationship:
- You may feel misunderstood or invalidated.
- When you’re unable to share your feelings openly, it can lead to a sense of isolation or being unheard, making it more likely that you’ll suppress future concerns instead of addressing them.
- Your relationship may get much weaker.
- Not speaking your mind can create tension or anxiety with your partner that prevents building meaningful connections with them.
- You may become resentful of your partner.
- While it can feel easier in the moment to stay silent and avoid confrontation, suppressing your concerns often leads to unresolved tension and resentment over time.
How to Express your Emotions
- Timing Matters
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- As previously mentioned, emotions are tough to talk through, so when you have these conversations, timing matters. For example, if you are both tired or tension is high, it may not be the optimal time to have a difficult conversation. So without waiting too long to express your feelings, it is important to discuss the issue when both parties are calm and have time to talk.
- Communicate Regularly
- Maintaining regular check-ins gives you the space to share in a way that feels natural and comfortable. Sharing emotions day-to-day prevents anyone from bottling up emotions and fosters healthier communication.
- Good communication focuses on the emotion you are feeling, without immediately assigning blame or fault. For example, you could start with “ I feel…” followed by an emotion.
- Identify your “Why”
- It is important that you try to understand your own emotions at least a little bit before bringing them up to someone else. This will help your partner fully grasp what you are feeling because you will be able to clarify and express your feelings correctly.
- Show Empathy & Avoid Judgment
- Empathy is key as it helps us understand the intentions of others. If we remind ourselves how hard it is to express our emotions, it may help us to avoid judgment. The goal in communication is to foster understanding and deepen the connection. Thus, by showing empathy we acknowledge the other person’s perspective creating common ground to move forward. This also involves emotional acceptance, which is when you allow your feelings to exist without passing judgement on them. If you reject or deny what you are feeling, this can lead to unhealthy coping mechanism.
- Listen Actively
- Demonstrating that you care for your partner’s feelings by nodding or maintaining an open posture that encourages them to continue sharing can help to avoid future conflict or misunderstanding. Practice your active listening skills – avoid distraction, control your emotions, be patient, and seek clarification when necessary. For example, you can ask “What did you mean when you said…?”.
Final Thoughts
It is important to remind yourself to be patient. Give your partner grace as you both put in the effort to develop a more meaningful connection with healthier communication. For help with managing conflict in your relationship, read David’s blog!
Sometimes we need a little support as we seek to be vulnerable – please reach out to us at Dóchas at 780-446-0300 or info@dochaspsych.com. Book an in-person appointment in Spruce Grove or a virtual appointment in Alberta with one of our therapists here.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
