Hi everyone. Renee here, an intern at Dóchas Psychological in Spruce Grove, Alberta, and someone who is recovering from perfectionism.
As we enter a new year, it’s easy to reflect on 2024 and feel like we fell short of our goals or didn’t achieve everything we set out to do. Try to shift that perspective; even if last year didn’t go how you planned, think about how you grew as a person, learned something new about yourself, or navigated challenges you didn’t expect.
I’ve noticed that perfectionism is often misunderstood or touted as a badge of honour. Many believe it’s about striving to be your best or setting high standards. In reality, perfectionism is the ultimate frenemy, promising to help you achieve success but usually delivering stress, burnout, and a constant feeling of never being enough.
What is Perfectionism?
At its core, perfectionism is an unrelenting desire to achieve flawlessness, often accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and fears of others’ judgment. While aiming for excellence is not inherently problematic, perfectionism tends to push us beyond productive self-improvement into rigid, unattainable expectations.
Perfectionism vs. Healthy Striving
Perfectionism is sometimes described as a “double-edged sword.” On one hand, it can motivate you to perform at a high level and deliver quality work. On the other hand, it can be a stumbling block, slowing you down and causing unnecessary anxiety. It is important to comprehend the distinction between perfectionism and healthy striving.
Healthy striving is about setting goals, doing your best, and learning from your mistakes. It allows for flexibility and self-compassion.
Perfectionism, on the other hand, focuses on avoiding failure at all costs and often involves self-punishment when those impossible standards aren’t met.
The Psychological Toll of Perfectionism
While striving for success can motivate some people, perfectionism often causes more harm than good. Here are some of the common psychological consequences:
- Chronic Stress and Anxiety: When perfectionists fall short of their own or others’ perceived expectations, it can lead to constant worry about not being good enough.
- Procrastination: Paradoxically, perfectionism can lead to procrastination. Fear of not completing a task perfectly can result in avoidance of tasks.
- Burnout: Because perfectionists tend to push themselves so hard, they often experience exhaustion, both mentally and physically. Burnout occurs when there’s no space for rest or self-compassion. Here are tips on avoiding burnout.
- Low Self-Esteem: Perfectionism often keeps individuals locked in a cycle of self-criticism. No matter how much they achieve, they focus on what they didn’t do right.
Rethinking Perfectionism
If perfectionism resonates with you, it’s important to know that change is possible. Here are some strategies to help shift your mindset:
1. Acknowledge your perfectionism: Recognizing the thoughts and behaviours associated with perfectionism is the first step to overcoming it. Notice when you’re holding yourself to unrealistic standards.
2. Challenge your inner critic: Often, perfectionists have an overly critical inner voice that tells them they aren’t good enough. It’s important to start challenging these thoughts with more balanced and compassionate self-talk. I wrote a blog on silencing the inner critic!
3. Set realistic, flexible goals: Instead of aiming for perfection, set goals that are achievable and allow for imperfections. Shift your mindset and ask, “Will the excessive time and attention on this task really improve the final product?”.
4. Practice accepting “good enough”: Understand that “good enough” is often just as effective as perfection. In fact, it’s usually more sustainable and realistic. Allow yourself to adjust your standards and make mistakes – life is messy, and this is how we grow.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Perfectionists tend to be hard on themselves, but practicing self-compassion can help counterbalance the negative effects. This means treating yourself with kindness and understanding when things don’t go as planned. Let go. Breathe.
6. Seek Support: Talking to a therapist can be incredibly helpful if you struggle with perfectionism. Together you can implement techniques to address the root causes and help develop healthier thinking patterns. We would love to help: please reach out to Dóchas at 780-446-0300 or info@dochaspsych.com. Book an in-person or virtual appointment with one of our therapists here.
Final Thoughts
The truth is, imperfection is a gift. It teaches us resilience, creativity, and humility. When we let go of the need to have everything “exactly right”, we create space for authenticity, connection, and joy. Mistakes are opportunities to learn, and setbacks pave the way for personal growth. The cracks in our carefully curated image allow the light to shine through, reminding us, and others, that we are all human, and we are all in this together.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
