It’s Paula on the Dóchas blog today, and I want to talk about the practice of “just being.” That might sound a bit confusing to you – what does it mean to just be? I think of it as an artistic work, because you work to create it, just as you would work at creating art. It’s a conscious process, a choice to engage, a decision to not act on the impulse to fulfill the supposed need to act on something. It’s accepting that it’s ok to be, and not do.
This practice also means you come to terms with not knowing, and sitting with uncertainty. You learn to sit, and whatever thought is occupying your mind can wait. That’s a later problem.
How can you learn to practice this? Here are a few places to start.
Evaluation of needs versus wants
When you’re learning to just be, you begin to recognize your needs versus your wants. In this practice, you do not ignore vital needs, especially concerning safety or physiological needs, such as food, clothing or shelter. But you also begin to recognize your need to just be, in the present moment, with appreciation and openness to what may come about.
Being intentional
Practicing “just being” is intentional, which is why you have to set aside a moment to consciously do it. It’s a conscious process to work with your fidget impulse to jump and attend to what currently occupies your mind. This means this practice of being is a way to manage anxiety. It’s a way to say, “I hear you, brain, telling me to alleviate the uncertainty of my current stressor.” And this intentional practice then grounds you, and calms the nervous system’s perception of “have to act and have to do.”
Usually sitting with the unpredictability of an outcome can put you into a state of arousal, but by allowing yourself to just be, you work to counteract that. Much like you would grab a paintbrush and canvas to create a masterpiece, the art of just being involves using your tools to create this state, such as self-talk, grounding strategies and giving yourself permission.
My personal experience
I’ve experienced being so consumed by worries that I lost my ability to be present in the moment. Several years ago, I was swinging in a hammock in the jungles of Thailand, deep in thought, with a plethora of emotions, trying to find the solutions to my current dilemma. I was so caught up, that I failed to take in the environment surrounding me – the lush green forests of the jungle, the sound of monkeys swinging and singing in the trees, or the warmth and humidity of the Southeast Asian sun on my skin. I was about to get up out of the swinging hammock, to act on my current worries, and was greeted by a Thai woman, whom I’d met earlier that day. She proceeded to smile and hand me a piece of aloe, as she pointed to a sunburn wound on my hand. My response was immediate appreciation for her gesture, and tears at this human connection. If I had gotten up earlier, to act on my worries, I’d have missed that opportunity to meet her and experience her concern.
I haven’t been back to Thailand since then. But the funny thing is, although that connecting experience is a vivid memory, I cannot recall what I was worried about and trying to solve! But I can recall vividly the experience and meaning of the aloe plant. Being present in the moment instead of in my worries provided me a meaningful experience that I will always carry with me.
In that moment, I made a conscious decision to practice to “just be” more often. For me, this means that I daily strive to find joy in the little things, and stay open to whatever comes out of the practice. I encourage you all to consciously take a moment to relax your mind and just be as well, and open yourself up to whatever might come out of that!
Sometimes life is challenging and we need a little more help. That’s why Dóchas Psychological Services is here, to lend you a helping hand when you need it. You can reach out to us here at 780-446-0300 or at info@dochaspsych.com.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only and is NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
