September 10 was World Suicide Prevention Day, while September 11 was the annual remembrance of 9/11—two really heavy days of awareness in one week. But it brings up a good question: how should we cope with death? It’s not an easy or pleasant thought to think of losing someone important in our lives, but we all experience it at some point in our lives. And then we wonder, how do I cope with this experience? If you feel a little lost as you go through a time of grief, and could use a little extra help, I hope this blog post has some tips to guide you.
What is grief?
First, let’s talk about grief.
Grief is a natural response to loss, either in our own lives or of those around us. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away and the pain can feel overwhelming. In fact, the reality is that you may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, whether that be disbelief, shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can even disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, make decisions, remain present in relationships, or even “think straight”.
Learning how to cope with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges and while these are normal reactions to loss, the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
While loss of a loved one may be what many of us would associate with grief, even smaller losses such as divorce, miscarriages, death of a pet, retirement, moving away from home, switching careers/jobs, or medical diagnoses can result in grief as well.
One response we can have to the intense and overwhelming feeling of grief is to feel we should be able to get over it or overcome it in a certain time-frame. This can sometimes cause us to avoid sitting with some of the negative emotions. We might also feel like we have to fight with our feelings. However, learning to sit with our feelings of grief can be helpful in our journey to process our experiences with death. Through grieving, we can be guided through the process of saying goodbye.
Beyond that, here are a few other practical strategies that you may find helpful during this time:
Strategies for Coping with Grief
Sharing your Feelings
Holding heavy emotions can feel overwhelming, and being able to share that burden with friends through conversation can help ease this pain. Let your friends know that advice/answers aren’t expected and that you simply wish to share emotions, or perhaps even memories, regarding the person you’ve lost.
Keeping a Journal
Processing grief through writing down one’s thoughts and/or feelings can not only help with alleviating pain but also through tracking your progression through the grieving process. This means that you are then able to look back and see how perhaps your view of loss has changed.
Exploring Creativity
The arts, whether in the form of crafts, drawing, music, etc., are beautiful forms of expression through which you may find a space to process overwhelming emotions while also establishing new connections with yourself and the world around you.
Scheduling Time to Grieve
While it might seem counterintuitive, purposefully choosing to set aside time to process grief (which might mean giving yourself permission to cry or display otherwise strong emotions) creates a space in which you are free to grieve without fear of judgment or shame.
Joining a Grief Support Group
Being around others who have also recently experienced a major loss can help you share the burden of grief. If your loved one died of a specific illness, such as cancer or heart disease, there might be a local support group for people who have lost someone to that specific disease.
No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve
Whatever type of loss you’ve suffered, it’s important to understand that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you. However, our hope is that this article can provide a number of healthier ways to cope which can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.
Sometimes you may feel you need a little extra help from professionals, as you go through this experience in your life. If this is you, the team at Dóchas is here to help. Learn more about how we can help you on our website, or reach out and contact us.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs are meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
