Welcome back to the blog! It’s Kim here. Today we’re talking about how to identify your boundaries. Believe it or not, this isn’t the easiest thing to do. We seem to have this belief that we should automatically know what our boundaries are. But the reality is we aren’t aware of our limits with a person or situation at all times because our boundaries are flexible. I’ve said it once (or a thousand times) and I’ll say it again: your boundaries are not set in stone.
So how do we identify where our boundaries are in different situations? I cover it all in this video! Hit the play button or read more below about how you can identify your boundaries (and be comfortable doing it!).
If you missed my video on how to set your boundaries, click here to check it out!
How to identify your boundaries
Paulo Coelho once said “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying no to yourself.” This quote speaks volumes to me (and likely to you if you struggle with boundaries).
To be able to identify where your boundaries are, you need to first practice self-awareness. This means getting out of your head and getting into your body.
Take note of how it feels when you want to say no to someone, but you feel pressure to say yes. Pay attention to your heart rate and any tension in your muscles. Does your mouth go dry, or are you sweating a lot? These are all signs that something in this situation isn’t comfortable for you and you need to identify a boundary.
It’s not easy to speak our minds and just say no right in that moment. Buy yourself some time. Ask “Can I have a little bit of time to think about it?” or “Can I get back to you on that?”
The key is to notice what’s happening in your body. If something feels off, check in with yourself on why you feel uncomfortable. It’s normally a sign that you’ve reached your limit.
Your boundaries are your strength
Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Not at all. Identifying boundaries takes a lot of practice. We know we have a limit, but communicating it to others is scary. There’s a lot of judgement that comes with sticking to your boundaries. Remember that your boundaries are your strength, not your weakness.
So I invite you to really pay attention to what your body tries to tell you. This will be the fastest way for you to identify your boundaries when something doesn’t feel right.
And as always, the Dochas Team is here to help you through it all. If you need some one-on-one time with a professional who can help you with your boundaries, give us a call at 780-446-0300.
About Dochas Psychological
Dochas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dochas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dochas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs are meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
