Does the idea of meeting a new group of people make you physically sick? Do you consistently play out worst-case scenarios in your head before going to a social event? Are your fearful thoughts about people judging you affecting your ability to succeed at work? You may be suffering from social anxiety. The good news is we’re here to tell you that you’re not alone and there are ways to manage social anxiety.
In this video Dochas Psychologist Kim Long answers the commonly asked questions about social anxiety: What is social anxiety? Where does social anxiety come from? How can social anxiety be cured? Kim talks about the difference between shyness and social anxiety, and why social anxiety is commonly written off as nervousness. Take a look or read on for symptoms of social anxiety and 4 strategies to help manage it.
The Difference Between Shyness and a Social Anxiety Disorder
There is a lot of misconception that social anxiety is just being shy or nervous around new people or in group settings. According to The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, people with social anxiety have an overwhelming fear of rejection. They have thoughts like “I’ll look stupid” and “They won’t like me.” Those with social anxiety also experience physical symptoms that significantly interfere with their ability to function with friends or at work on a daily basis. Social anxiety symptoms can include blushing, sweating, dry mouth, and even shaking.
What Causes Social Anxiety?
According to Statistics Canada, there’s no real cause for social anxiety. Like so many other psychological and mental health issues, it’s a combination of environment and biology.
With that being said, most people with social anxiety have experienced it from a very young age. In our practice we see a lot of children who are written off as being shy or quiet, when really they are suffering from social anxiety and it could be paralyzing for them inside.
In a Statistics Canada case study it was reported that 8% of the Canadian population aged 15 and older suffer from social anxiety. That’s over 2 million people! It’s common for so many to suffer from social anxiety and not seek help. A lot of people are so fearful that they’ll be judged, they can’t bring themselves to trust a therapist or a loved one not to judge them.
How to Deal With Social Anxiety
At Dochas we love to lean on a strategy that focuses on the 3 brains in our bodies. We recommend this strategy to our clients to help deal with anxiety and stress. Click here to read more about the 3 brain areas and how to use this strategy.
For social anxiety we’ll focus on the mind specifically and how to manage anxious thoughts. The most important thing to do is find a way to fight the anxious thoughts. In psychology this is called cognitive disputation. Psychologist Martin Seligman is known for his work on positive psychology and in his self-help book Learned Optimism he lists 4 ways to fight negative thinking. We recommend these strategies to our clients who want to manage their social anxiety, and each one can be used for a specific negative thought. Here’s how to implement them.
4 Strategies to Manage Social Anxiety
1. Evidence
Find proof that what you’re thinking is correct. Chances are, you won’t be able to – and that’s the point! Say you’re worried about going to a party because it might be awkward. Where is the proof that the party will be awkward? If you keep searching for evidence of your “what ifs,” eventually you’ll run out of excuses.
2. Alternatives
Think about what else could explain the negative thoughts you’re having. Maybe you went to a party in the past and it was awkward. Why might that have been? Maybe other people at the party were nervous too.
3. Implications
Ask yourself “What is the worst thing that could happen if what I’m thinking is true?” The worst thing has likely happened before, and it ended up okay. This time will be no different.
4. Helpfulness
Ask yourself “How helpful is the thought I’m having right now?” If it’s not helpful, push yourself to think of something that will be.
We Have an Invitation For You!
Don’t worry, we’re not inviting you to a large gathering. However, we do invite you to let yourself be in a situation that you’re uncomfortable with and practice these strategies. Use them all, or use one. Find which strategy works best for you, and keep it in your back pocket. Social anxiety doesn’t go away overnight, but with these tools you’ll be able to push yourself outside your comfort zone more and more.
About Dochas Psychological
Dochas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dochas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dochas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs are meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
